TobyMac walked onto the stage at the UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena Friday night.
There was no band at first. There was no music.
“The last four months of my life have been the hardest and darkest months I've ever lived,” the Christian pop star, born Kevin Michael McKeehan, told the hushed, sold-out crowd.
In October, TobyMac’s son, Truett Foster McKeehan, died. He accidentally overdosed on fentanyl and amphetamines, according to autopsy and toxicology reports. He was 21 years old.
"Thank you for your cards, letters, your kind social media posts that have encouraged us, but mostly I want to say thank you for your prayers," TobyMac continued."Me and my family are really grateful to you."
Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.
After his opening comments, TobyMac’s band Diversecitytook the stage to play the title track of his latest album, 2018’s “The Elements.”
“This world always trying to rip my family apart,” TobyMac rapped from a small stage in the middle of an arena floor, seething. He punched the air one moment, dropped down to his knees the next,as snow started to fall over him.
“I’m gonna go down swingin’, if I’m gonna go down,” he sang on the chorus, again and again, over Tim Rosenau’s ferocious guitar roars.
Unless you’ve experienced loss like TobyMac has, it’s impossible to fathom the pain he’s going through, to completely grasp how difficult it must be to entertain thousands of people night after night while going through such grief.
And yet about a third of the way into the hour-and-40-minute set, TobyMac vowed he and the band were going to give the show everything they had, and he was true to his word.
With brass blaring, TobyMac and Diversecity strutted down the catwalk for the frothy "Elements" track “Everything.” With poignancy and purpose, and evenjubilance, he sang about shattering your jaded mindset, of opening your eyes to wonder, for “Edge of Your Seat,” also from "Elements,"one of seven songs in the middle of the set TobyMac and the eight-piece band performed on that small second stage.
Despite his sorrow, TobyMac was eager to pleaseand seemed to take comfort in his fans' happiness. He fist-bumped and high-fived dozens of fans. He posed for selfies, and sang "Happy Birthday" to a girl celebrating her sweet 16, with some funky backing from the band. For the feel-great, funk-pop finale "Feel It," dozens of fans, mostly teenagers and children, danced with the band on the stage.
And TobyMac processed the loss of his son, and honored his memory, with a song he wrote after his death, "21 Years."
"Heart shattered in a thousand ways/They tell me pain gonna come in waves," TobyMac sang. "They tell me I'm gonna be okay/I'm still waitin' for the first to break."
"God has you in heaven/But I have you in my heart."
As the song reached its climax, snippets of black-and-white home movies of Truett as a child flashed on the video panels above the stage. Diversecity's Gabe Real Patillo looked into TobyMac's anguished eyes, placed his hand on his shoulderand briefly took the lead on vocals, as "21 Years" segued into a somber, slower rendition of "See The Light."
It's also from "Elements," written before Truett's death. But it's a song someone who haslost someone close to them — as its singer now has — could deeply understand.
"Some things will never be the same," TobyMac sang Friday. "And just the thought of letting go/It's brought you to your knees."
"You can make it through the night," he continued. "You wake up just a little bit stronger. So hold on just a little bit longer."
"You and me, yeah you and me, we're gonna see the light."
Tauren Wells, five other acts, opened
When TobyMac tours arenas, he gives his fans a lot of bang for their buck. For the “Hits Deep” tour stop in Milwaukee, he brought along not one, not two, but six openers.
Tauren Wells was the slickest act on the undercard, cruising through funk pop jams like new single “Love Me” with plenty of confidence and a touch of choreography.
Paramedic-turned-musician Ryan Stevenson’s songs of praise were clear crowd pleasers — but the warmest response was for his covers of his little boys’ silly songs, including one about vampires called “Apples and Hallelujah.”
Jordan Feliz played a new, unreleased track, “Glorify,” that became an effective arena rock rouser before the first chorus — likely because it sounded like a lot of his other songs.
Rapper Aaron Cole’s sound was muted, but cleared up just in time for his signature “One More Day.”
We Are Messengers offered more lyrical nuance than its swelling rock anthems would imply, with Darren Mulligan accepting suffering on “Maybe It’s Ok.”
Cochren and Co. singer Michael Cochren didn’t have a band to back him, but a big, soulful voice was fair compensation for his two songs.
TobyMac's comments about his son
"The last four months of my life have been the hardest and darkest months I've ever lived. For those that don't know, four months ago, my wife and I lost our 21-year-old son. It's been brutal. But I wanted to come out here at the top of the night and say thank you for your cards, letters, your kind social media posts that have encouraged us, but mostly I want to say thank you for your prayers. Me and my family are really grateful to you. And I know by no means are we the only ones facing something hard. I know some of you have pain in your life, some of you have heartbreak and maybe even loss. A friend once told me, 'When you go through something that tragic, you might start reaching for something you think God promised us, but maybe he really didn't.' God didn't promise us we wouldn't have our hearts broken. He didn't promise us we wouldn't face pain or loss. But what God did promise us, and what God does promise us, is that he will never leave us or forsake us. I am holding onto that promise witheverything I have, for myself and my family, for you guys, and for my son."
"A lot of people have been so gracious and so kind these last few months, and have come up to me and said things like, 'You're going to see him again. You're going to see your son again Toby.' And you know what? I believe that with all my heart. I trust in God. The question is why, why do I have the promise to see my son again? Because his good outweighed his bad? No. As a matter offact he was my wild child, my beautiful wild child. His good did not outweigh his bad. And you know what? My good does not outweigh my bad. There's only one reason: for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. That right there, that is a gift, that is a gift, to all of us. But like any gift, you have to accept the gift. I ain't no preacher, but if you have not looked into accepting that gift, tonight can be your night. You could be at home, on your pillow, in the privacy of your room, but look into accepting that gift. I know my son did. I know because we talked about it many, many times. The way I see it, God gave his firstborn son so I can see my firstborn son again."
The set list
1. "The Elements"
2. "Lights Shine Bright"
3. "Backseat Driver"
4. "Everything"
5. "21 Years"
6. "See The Light"
7. "Made To Love"
8. "Lose My Soul"
9. "Speak Life" (with Ryan Stevenson)
10. "Hello Future"
11. "Til The Day I Die"
12. "Overflow"
13. "Edge Of My Seat" (with Michael Cochren of Cochren and Co.)
14. "Me Without You"
15. "City On Our Knees"
16. "In The Arms"
17. "Starts With Me" (with Aaron Cole)
18. "Move (Keep Walkin')"
19. "Eye On It"
20. "Love Broke Thru"
21. "I Just Need U"
22. "Feel It" (with Tauren Wells)
RELATED:These are all the Milwaukee arena, stadium and amphitheater shows happening in 2020
ContactPiet at (414) 223-5162 orplevy@journalsentinel.com. Followhim on Twitter at @pietlevy or Facebook at facebook.com/PietLevyMJS.
Piet also talks concerts, local music and more on "TAP'd In" with Jordan Lee. Hear it at 8 a.m. Thursdays on WYMS-FM (88.9), or wherever you get your podcasts.
